I’m Kayla, and yes, I really used them. I gave myself 30 days. If you’d rather jump straight to the unfiltered play-by-play, I’ve laid the whole adventure out here. New city, new apps, new nerves. I wanted real chats, not just more swipes. Did I find love? Kinda. Did I learn a lot? Oh yes.
Quick take
Each app felt like a different scene:
- Tantan: swipe and chat fast. Fun, but flaky.
- Momo: social, loud, and full of live rooms.
- Soul: vibes first, looks second.
- Jiayuan (Baihe): serious, like “meet my aunt” serious.
I used all four. I matched. I met two people for coffee and hotpot. I also blocked three scammers. So, a mixed bag—but not boring. A recent rundown of the most-popular dating apps in China shows Tantan and Momo dominating the charts, so I knew I was jumping into the deep end right away.
Where I used them and why it matters
I was in Shanghai and Shenzhen for work. My Chinese is okay, not great. I like coffee shops, street food, and night walks by the river. That shaped who I met and how we talked. Also, almost everyone moved the chat to WeChat by day two. That’s normal there.
Tantan: the quick swipe one
The UI felt like Tinder with brighter stickers. I verified my face with a short video. It took two tries. My hair was a mess the first time. Classic me.
Real chat, Day 3:
- Me: “Hey! I’m near Jing’an. Any milk tea spots you love?”
- Lily (UX designer, 29): “Try Heytea. Less sweet. Welcome to Shanghai!”
- We sent food pics. She sent a duck emoji. I still don’t know why, but I laughed.
We met for coffee at Seesaw. She taught me “bu tai tian” (not too sweet). I taught her “mid” because Gen Z slang sneaks in. We didn’t date, but we stayed WeChat friends. Tantan worked fine for quick, light meets. But a lot of chats fizzled after a day. I got three “Hi dear” messages that felt copy-paste.
What I liked:
- Fast matches.
- Sticker packs that made dull chats playful.
- Location search was spot on.
What bugged me:
- Ghosting. So much ghosting.
- VIP nags. I kept seeing “boost now.” I didn’t need it.
Momo: the noisy, social one
Momo felt like a night market. Swipes, groups, live rooms, gifts—so much going on. During 11.11 (Singles’ Day), live streams popped off. I watched a singer in Chengdu do old Jay Chou covers. People sent digital roses. I clapped from my couch like a dork. The performative energy almost echoed what I saw while trial-running the Stripchat app, just with its clothes on. That same thrill of unscripted, camera-on mingling reminded me of the classic chat-roulette format—if that piques your interest, you can see how today’s best-rated random video platforms compare Best Chat Roulette Site to Meet Hot Babes in this deep-dive guide that reviews safety features, flirt potential, and how to avoid the usual creeps.
Real chat, Day 11:
- Chen (barista, 31): “Seesaw or Manner? Pick a side.”
- Me: “Manner for espresso. Seesaw for dates.”
- Chen: “Hotpot then coffee. That’s the rule.”
We ate hotpot by the river. He ordered “medium” spice. I cried a little. He slid over a tissue like a pro. We walked after and talked 996 work hours and family. He said his mom asks about marriage every Spring Festival. I felt that weight even though I’m not his daughter-in-law. We didn’t keep going, but it felt real.
Momo can be fun if you like people and noise. But I got two “add WeChat and send hongbao” asks on day one. I blocked both. A recent Associated Press investigation details how these hongbao-style romance scams have become common on Chinese dating platforms, so the red flags felt extra obvious.
Soul: the mood app
Soul hides faces at first and pairs by vibe and tests. I did a quick quiz. It said I’m “calm curious.” Cute. I joined a late-night voice room. Everyone spoke soft. One girl talked about missing her grandma’s dumplings. It felt like a sleepover.
Real chat, Day 17:
- A user named “Rainy Tuesday”: “What smell feels like home?”
- Me: “Garlic and ginger hitting a hot pan.”
- Them: “Same. And wet bike brakes after rain.”
We voice-called for 12 minutes. No video. No rush. It felt safe. We never met, and that was okay. Soul helped when I was tired of faces and filters.
Jiayuan (Baihe): the serious lane
This one is for marriage-minded folks. Real-name checks. Job info. Height. House. Zodiac signs. A lot. A man’s aunt sent me a polite message. She asked if I like kids and dumplings. I said yes to both, but I wasn’t ready for aunt-level chats.
I had one tea date with Mei, 33, accountant. She brought a small notebook with “life goals.” It had budget lines and travel plans. It was sweet and a little intense. We hugged goodbye. We wished each other luck.
Safety, language, and the WeChat move
One handy shortcut: I used the cross-platform organizer Loup to keep my dating chats in one tidy place.
- Almost everyone asks for WeChat after a few days. Normal.
- I never sent money. If someone asked for red packets (hongbao), I left.
- Face checks help. I liked when the app asked for a short video.
- I used simple Chinese and English mix. “Ni chi le ma?” got a smile every time.
- Translate tools helped. I used Pleco and the iPhone text photo thing. Not perfect, but good enough.
Little things I loved (and hated)
Loved:
- 520 Day (May 20). People sent heart emojis all day. Cute.
- Food pics. So many. Noodles, buns, mango cake. I got hungry every night.
- Voice notes. Tone helps when words fall short.
Hated:
- “Rate my looks” games. No thanks.
- Push alerts at 1 a.m. Chill, Momo.
- Fake profiles that felt too shiny. I learned to reverse-image check sometimes.
Who should try what
- Want casual chats and quick meets? Try Tantan.
- Like social rooms and live music? Momo fits.
- Want feelings first, faces second? Go Soul.
- Ready for a long-term track? Jiayuan makes sense.
If you stress over family pressure, maybe avoid Jiayuan for now. If you hate noise, skip Momo.
Tips that saved me time
- Ask one local question. “Best noodle shop near X?” People love to help.
- Keep first meets short. Coffee or a walk. Public spots only.
- Move to WeChat only if the chat feels normal for a few days.
- Don’t send gifts or money. Ever.
- Share your pace. I used, “I like slow and honest.”
If texting is your preferred playground, my month-long experiment with dedicated sexting apps might help you filter the fun from the fluff—catch the rundown here.
Here’s a starter text I used a lot:
“Hey! I’m new-ish here. I like coffee, books, and bad karaoke. What’s one spot I should try this week?”
It worked better than a plain “hi.”
By the way, when my friends back in New York get swipe fatigue, some of them swap romance apps for “rub-and-relax” research first—basically scoping out local massage parlors with adult-friendly reviews before planning a low-pressure meet-up. If you’re curious how that scene operates in the suburbs, the breakdown of Westchester County’s offerings on Rubmaps Mamaroneck explains membership tiers, etiquette, and which spots actually deliver a stress-melting shoulder rub without sketchy surprises.
My take
Did I find my person? Not yet. But I met kind folks. I ate great food. I learned new words. I also learned to say no faster. You know what? That felt good.
If you try a Chinese dating app, pick one that fits your mood. Keep chats kind. Keep meets safe. And order less spice than you think. Trust me on that last part.